What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do.
[This is the part where I state the obvious and we talk about how things are weird right now and no one knows what the future holds much less what you’re going to do with your kids for the next what feels like a decade of homeschooling and you never signed up for this but also what about the people who are working hourly jobs that have just been shuttered because your mayor or governor or leader said that everyone has to stay home except rent is due in 13 days and how are they going to pay their bills with no paycheck but we need to find the helpers like Mr Rogers said and can you be a helper right now in the midst of your own anxiety or depression or fear and if you can’t then I know you’re wondering where are the people who are supposed to help you and I hope you have some support around you and if you don’t then I am here and you can call on me and I really really really really hope we all can rise to the occasion here and somehow in the midst of all this drudgery and uncertainty we find a way to make the world a better place…. PHEW].
Are you exhausted already? Me too.
I’ve been home for 5 months. I leave my house 3-4 times a week to buy groceries or visit a friend, but mostly just… home. And I was just getting ready for a whirlwind of not-home-ness. I scheduled a trip to Utah to see my grandson and then another trip to Ireland to see my sister, and then I accepted a role for a really great company that entails being on 8 different planes in the first 2 months to visit and educate people…in the service industry.
So, as you can imagine, my plans have changed a little bit. Frankly, as I write this, I don’t know if I will still have that job when my start date arrives in 5 weeks. The world is changing so fast.
I wonder about what will happen to the service industry if there’s no one to serve. I wonder what every restaurant server will do this month to pay their bills. I wonder if they’ll ever catch up. I wonder how many rents will go unpaid and how many homes will be foreclosed and how many low income people will become even lower income people and will die from hunger or despair.
What is the recipe for us to be able to Tub Thump…to sing “I get knocked down, but I get up again”? Or to pack an imaginary karaoke bar full of optimists and belt out Gloria Gaynor… “I will survive!” How do we keep our heads up at a time like this?
I’m supposed to be giving you a recipe for something here, but I honestly don’t know what it is. Fierce optimism, my typical state of being, feels like a slap in the face to reality.
So, in an effort to keep my promise to provide you something useful (if only the recipe at the bottom!), Here are a few things you can do to be with this roller coaster of life events. It’s very possible you’ve heard all of these by now, and if you have, then consider this a gentle, loving reminder.
It is okay to take a nap right now. If you need to stop and rest, then stop and rest. If you cannot stop and rest because you work for the Postal Service or the pharmacy or grocer or Amazon or Costco, then rest as soon as and as often as you are able.
Pay it forward. If you are still receiving a paycheck and you are able to pay your bills: pay someone else’s, too. Track down your hairstylist or bartender or favorite restaurant server on social media and send them $20, $50, $100 - whatever you can spare. They are really, really going to need it. If you don’t have someone in mind, let me know. I know dozens and can connect you.
Get fresh air. Many of us have been ordered to work from home, but also to “shelter in place,” which means that we can’t go to the library (it’s closed anyway), or to a coffee shop to work (also closed), or even to visit friends. Being indoors can be a damper on your emotions. Go outside. Take a walk, work from your patio (a friend of mine puts her laptop on top of her closed propane grill and calls it her ‘standing desk’), and if you can’t do those things, crack a window even if it’s cold outside.
Reply to this email and tell me about a time you said / did / created / accomplished something you were proud of. I will then share them with all of you so we can be reminded of human-amazingness (if you don’t want me to share, please tell me in your email). The mental recall to think about and re-tell the story will engage the ‘I can do hard things’ endorphins in your brain - and gosh, don’t we need that right now??
Play music. Turn it up. Sing along. Dance. If this is your thing.
Write. Create. Build. Share. If this is your thing.
Be authentically yourself. If you are normally an introvert, lean into your beautiful introversion in this time when it’s socially acceptable and required. If you are an extrovert, don’t feel like you can’t still be extroverted whilst social distancing. Text your friends. Schedule an after-work Happy Hour via Zoom with your coworkers. Write letters to people in nursing facilities or retirement communities.
Friends, we are a resilient world filled with humanity and grace and kindness, but we must take care of ourselves and of each other. I believe in us. Keep being a helper, and keep looking for the helpers.
Love, Sari
No-Knead Bread
If you haven’t already come across this recipe from famed NYC baker Jim Lahey (owner of the Sullivan Street Bakery), then BOY am I excited to share it with you. I offer this recipe today for two reasons:
1) If you’ve stocked your pantry like everyone else in line at Costco, you probably have all of these basic ingredients in your home right now, and
2) You likely have the time it takes to wait and let the dough rise.
I’ve made this a few times, and while you can tweak it to include fresh rosemary or garlic or seeds (pumpkin, sunflower, poppy, fennel, sesame, you name it!) it stands alone and makes you look incredibly impressive to your …. family - who are the only people you should be eating around right now anyway.
It’s a full 24-hour process, so if you want bread with dinner tomorrow, start this evening.
If you are still afraid and want to see how easy it is, here’s a simple YouTube video of Jim making the bread himself:
INGREDIENTS
3 cups all-purpose or bread flour, more for dusting (430 g)
1/4 teaspoon instant yeast (1g)
1 1/2 teaspoons salt (14g)
1 5/8 cups (345g) water
Cornmeal or wheat bran as needed
PREPARATION
In a large bowl combine flour, yeast and salt. Add water and stir until blended; dough will be shaggy and sticky. Cover bowl with plastic wrap. Let dough rest at least 12 hours, preferably about 18, at warm room temperature, about 70 degrees.
Dough is ready when its surface is dotted with bubbles. Lightly flour a work surface and place dough on it; sprinkle it with a little more flour and fold it over on itself once or twice. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let rest about 15 minutes.
Using just enough flour to keep dough from sticking to work surface or to your fingers, gently and quickly shape dough into a ball. Generously coat a cotton towel (not terry cloth) with flour, wheat bran or cornmeal; put dough seam side down on towel and dust with more flour, bran or cornmeal. Cover with another cotton towel and let rise for about 2 hours. When it is ready, dough will be more than double in size and will not readily spring back when poked with a finger.
At least a half-hour before dough is ready, heat oven to 450 degrees. Put a 6- to 8-quart heavy covered pot (cast iron, enamel, Pyrex or ceramic) in oven as it heats. When dough is ready, carefully remove pot from oven. Slide your hand under towel and turn dough over into pot, seam side up; it may look like a mess, but that is O.K. Shake pan once or twice if dough is unevenly distributed; it will straighten out as it bakes. Cover with lid and bake 30 minutes, then remove lid and bake another 15 to 30 minutes, until loaf is beautifully browned. Cool on a rack.